Chapter 10 (Baby and other things)

Things have changed since the last one.

This time I have a 7 week old , rather displeased young man on my lap, necessitating one finger typing. Wife is down the soutien scolaire with the other two doing some lets teach the little frogs some english. In return ours get to play scrabble in french. He is now asleep so i will try to put him down (in a non veterinary way). My money is he will be back in say 2 mins.

In chronological order.


Still knocking out the produce.

The biggest puff ball in St Front history. Aubergines and even more aubergines : gridled then soaked in balsamic and olive oil dressing, Dean's aubergine surprise and alternatively baked and blended with tahini, lemon and garlic.

Pumpkins grown specifically for Halloween which didn't really happen this year ie; no 'I have the biggest, strangest, smallest pumpkin competition' But at least I can make pumpkin soup repeatedly.

Son decided to grow peppers and I think it would be fair to say we were rather successful, but what do you do with 5 hundred chilli peppers? Paste, dried, put in oil.Composte.

Felix has added rugby to his repetoire of sports. He is rather easy to spot at the tournoi. He is the only long blond haired enfant running around surrounded by shaven mini thugs. But for 40 Euros for the year and he gets a free sani ( sandwich) and a drink after each session, and he is out of the house for upto 5 hrs each Sat: bargain.

He also added river swimming to his hobbies and was totally chuffed when he traversed the L'Isle for the first time with Dean. Ellie was well p***ed when she didn't. However she has found her metier in pottery and is producing lovely christmas gifts for her blessed parents. Oh I can't wait.

On my one year's anniversary we had a little storm. The day started innocently enough as I picked up Madame Jambon (Ham) and proceded with me trailer to venture towards bubble f**k nowhere to buy 15 bales of straw to make Felix a den. Should have realised things weren't quite right as Martine ( that's Mrs Ham to you) had to keep hopping out of the car to lug fallen branches of the road. Eventually we arrived at her husband's brother in laws place. There he was with his neighbour doing the first pressing of his grape crop. Cue : big concrete container rotary thing and loads of squidging with your wellies. Then try the Bourru. Fifteen day old brew : interesting, fruity little number but actually quite palatable.Went in the kitchen to meet the wife and mother in law. Dressed in obligatory blue pinny, slip on green plastic wellies, skinned lapin on the wood burner, but lovely home made biccies. Meanwhile chaos : live stock have escaped courteousy of storm, neighbour can't get out , fallen tree. So had to wait to get the bales. Once loaded up with bales off we went again. On our return journey phoned by anxious wife. No power, no phone ( she used our guests mobile: smart person) , no car but not in labour. Get back home and devastation greets me. Trees down everywhere ( we have lost our biggest walnut tree), roof tiles off only to find the beloved one sipping tea with our guests.

One month on and there are still leftovers from the storm scattered around, despite the best efforts of Eric and his tronconeuse, Ellie and the munchey scruncher and Thierry and his tractor. Now Thierry ( one of our neighbours) has taken being anal to a higher level. I get the feeling he may be regarded as a little frugal too. Who in his right mind digs a 13m deep well on his own to avoid being on mains water supply? Has a 58 year 25HP Massey Ferguson tractor which looks like it has just come out of its wrapper and has all of his spanners, screwdrivers etc in beautiful lines. But he shares a passion for chilli peppers and produces some of the finest peppers I have ever seen.

4 days after the storm our guests left ( they helped remove three pine trees and lug them on to a huge pyre, always good to provide an alternative break for city dwellers). That evening the waters go. Not totally happy as it looks like Ollie has done a jobby. Call up Sharon to baby sit. Jump in car and off to Bergerac. Despite the journey being a little bumpy and swervy no contractions. Arrive, male avant garde mid wife. Contractions!!, gas and air, feels like I am tripping. Baby. Wrap wife in bacofoil. Always a nice look. A bit 80's but suits her. Kids well pleased with new arrival. Ellie has fallen in love big time. We even find her changing his nappy when we have deserted him. Felix even fessed up that he was pleased we had a baby, having informed us prebirth that he didn't want a baby. So all in all Nirvana.

When you have a baby it's a little bit like being the pharoah in the Pharoah versus Moses. First you get a plague of parents, then a plague of in laws, then a plague of friends. But it's great. On tap free labour ; Erect new greenhouse, plant 500 alliums, narcissi, croci and tulips, cut laurel hedge ( we have been grassed up by some DIY enthusiast to the Mayor that our front hedge is too high and we need to trim it asap), assault the wood down by the river to clear fallen trees.In addition you get a delivery of essentials such as Twinning's English breakfast teabags and horseradish sauce ( it's an outrage you can't get Sainsbury's taste the difference horseradish sauce these days, I blame global warming me) and of course Branston pickle for Felix's cheese and pickle sandwiches without the cheese.

Now to Rosie who has taken a leaf out of Son's book. She started knocking out the eggs. A little small, but a lovely colour and flavour. But after doing 8 or so, she has stopped. It might be the arrival of 5 new female competitors or maybe she just doesn't feel like it. Felix reliably informs me that he has seen Rocket and Rosie 'doing sex' but still rien.

Last week I had a flash back. Back in Wallington I had to paint the breakfast room/kitchen three times as the colour just wasn't right for my lovely wife's eyes. Fast forward to La Feuillade.. You know darling I think the Olive trees would look better further over to the right. Rake off gravel, lift weed suppressing membrane, dig up 2 nicely rooted olive trees, replant aforementioned olive trees and reposition the uplighters to boot. As long as she is happy eh?!

Anyway must cook lunch now as kids have basketball, pottery and theatre this afternoon.

Take care Tone xx

Chapter 9 (Here in France)

Dear All,

The summer is drawing to a close, the virginia creeper is no longer verdant and we have had enough fecking water from on high to fill all the empty resevoirs in the south of old blighty and some. It has pluied big time and this has proved challenging at times. As Sonia and I reflect on a quiet evening we smile inwardly ( in between the Braxton - Hicks contractions) as we recall the time we awoke at three of a morning and remember we have left all the doors and windows open in the cottage. A force ten gale is depositing the contents of the Atlantic in the main bedroom and kitchen. We then discover that a little man has taken a hosepipe and is merrily watering the inside of the barn and utility room. There was no little man just so much water pouring down the gullies (which had blocked with moss and old slate) that it has backed up and overflowed. I have overcome my vertigo and have spent many a joy-filled moment rummaging in my gullies.

The French like an excuse for a holiday. If you are a Saint in France the chances are you have a day named after you and the kids get an extra day off school to boot. But we are also blessed by the Felibre. Essentially there are 20 towns/Communes in our area on a rota to host each years Felibree., And this year it was Ste Foy de la Grande. The town is sealed off to all motorised vehicules.Each entry point is manned/womanned by little house on the prairie types and all the streets are decorated with toilet paper. Which is probably why the bidet was invented. They have spent the last six months making triffids,signs and enough strings of flowers to circle the Earth 2.7 times.So we popped along to take a butchers. Lots of dancing, old tractors, bars, animals and old people collapsing in the heat, so all in all there was something for everyone and we had a joyeous day out.

Why do children like camping and why do I do it with them? You share a sweaty cramped space with something which appears completely oblivious to its surroundings, has taken 20 times the recommended dose of sleeping tablets (and thus comatose) but simultaneously uses its limbs like the sails on a windmill, smacking you in the chops every half hour or so.There is not enough space to swing a cat let alone your daughter who has morphed in to a rabbit ( see photos if you are confused) and your son demonstrates his pyromania. The simple answer is your wife isn't stupid.

I feel we may indeed becoming more rural. Felix likes nothing better than getting camoflaged and heading off to reduce the size of our lapin population. Talking of which I would like to declare that our enclosure is now free of this pest as I have not seen one, or its jobby for nigh on two months. As a result the chicken wire has come down and our plants run free without fear. Now all we have to do is make sure we don't leave the gates open.Ellie gets mightily upset if I 'peel' a recent acquisition without her. She finds rural anatomy lessons on the patio absolutely fascinating. 'Is that its jobby?' and other inquisitive phrases fill the air as the dew vapourises under the heat of the rising sun. Really quite picturesque?

On a disappointing note Rocket and Rosie are definitely not like rabbits. They have been with us for over two months and we have not seen so much as a glimpse of an ingredient for our omlettes There has been much heated debate as as what to do with the first arrival and I have been out-voted and Rosie will be allowed to become a mother.

The potager (veg patch) has been mega this year. We have our very own Courgette mountain, which has resulted in me making courgette chutney(surprisingly good) and courgette and ginger jam (interesting) to go with the elderberry jelly, plum jam, blackberry jelly( the second batch just wouldn't set) and wild cherry jam. Currently we are experiencing an aubergine glut. You know they say pets look like there owners well I feel there is a striking resemblence between our aubergines and Son and I. Once griddled and marinaded in a balsamic and olive oil dressing they are tops.

The patch out the back has also been providing fare for the table. Not the Cage fungus Clathrus ruber( red cage like looking fungus see photos) which stinks. But buckets of Vesse de loup, which apparently translates as quiet farts of the wolf, but I know as puff balls. Felix has experimented in transplanting these little white bundles of spores in a hope of bringing them on, unfortunately he was not successful. We have also had giant puffballs in profusion which are truly amazing as they expand before your eyes. Not too dissimilar to my dear lady wife, who thought Ollie was enroute the night before last.

We had some very easy going guests in the gite so Son decided we needed to get away and give the kids a holiday.So off to Chateau Moulliepied (near Saintes) where Felix and Ellie fished for crayfish. Palmyre Zoo to feed the giraffes popcorn and the obligatory beach to comb and have jellyfish fights on. I had forgetten how incredibly smelly slowly decomposing meduse are. On our return we found that our guests had had a deluge which had leaked down the old chimney stack into their bedroom and a smoke alarm had gone off at 05.30am in our store room which was the other side of the wall behind their bed. Ho hum. Amazingly enough they were very chilled out about this and thanks to them I have been feeling c**p for the last 24 hours or so, as we shared a selection of produce from various vinicultural centres.

In an attempt to improve our french Son and I go to a shed in the forest. In this shed there is a retired headteacher, an interesting aroma of fungal spores, and the largest collection of Thomas Hardy videos ever seen. For 20 Euros we spend between 70 minutes to almost 2 hours getting his life history, the history of Mussidan and its environs, oh and occassionally we do some French too. We have been made familiar with the past conditional, the past historic and various other useful grammatical nuances.

Down by the river I have been a playing with my strimmer and me ride on. Now you can see the water,admire the fish and the flash of blue which is our resident kingfisher. We have a family of water voles which are as blind and as deaf as a Sonia in bed with her ear plugs in and eye patches on. You can get so close you could scratch behind their ears before they realise you are there, and plunge back into the L'Isle.

The kids are back at school so it is really quiet, however I feel this definitely the proverbial quiet before the storm as it is only six weeks to Ollie's expected arrival. Having said that I think Son is under the impression he is going to join us before his due date.

Anyway I am off to pick some figs from a friends garden to make some jam and to ensure I am regular, so by for now.

Love Tone xxx

Chapter 8 (The Latest Installement)

To say it has been warm may be regarded as an understatment, infact it has been super toasty. Forty degrees : the only thing you feel like doing is (if you're Felix and Ellie) is being submerged or float (if you're Sonia) or have a beer ( if you're me). Fortunately that was exceptional, most of the time it has been in the high 20's or low thirties and thus my membership of AA is only pending. However Felix and Ellie now resemble mermaids more than children : both have long flowing blond hair and are rarely sighted on dry land.

The pool is complete and Sonia and I spent some quality time with my Croatian ciment mixer. It may have been cheap (111 Euros) but she has earned her keep. 50 metres of foundations, mortar for 400 brieze blocks and 36 concrete pillar blocks and enough render to cover approximately 120 metres squared. And she can still turn.We managed in true Newell style manage to find enough old tiles and bricks sitting around to cap the walls and pillars to finish it off. Courtesy of the local supermarket some well established olive trees, a few uplighters, six tonnes of gravel and voila.

Unfortunately I have an aspergillus (fungus) associated hole in my left eardrum, which has resulted in me having the priviledge of sharing a waiting room with a bunch aurally affected frenchies. it is not fun 'aving a man shove a sucky tube in your ear and suctioning out crud which would look better on my compost heap, but as they say hey ho. One of the outcomes of this is I must not get water etc in my ear, so swimming has been difficult. I have purchased this plug thing and a rather fetching head band but I don't seem able to bond with them.

In fact I seem to have spent a lot of time in my old environment, my ear goes to Perigueux, Ollie and Son get viewed in Bergerac and Ellie and her foot visited the Urgence also in Bergerac.

Cue to school fete ( it earns most of its revenue through the beer tent). One bouncy castle. It is so hot that the plastic is almost untouchable. What do you do? Spray it with water so it becomes a bouncy super slippery bouncy accident waiting to happen castle. And it does. Ellie falls . Ellie cries. Parents reassure her. Send her to school on Monday. Teacher phones parents to report that Ellie can't walk and her beau ( Franck this week) had to carry her to the canteen. Dad picks her up but decides to wait and see what happens. Tuesday : Bergerac super efficient , marvelously quiet A&E. Fractured first metatarsal. Back slab in plaster. Pharmacy for les cannes Anglaise ( crutches) and home in time for lunch.Ten days later the back slab was removed and Ellie returned to her favoured environment, the water.

We now have eight 6x2 meter raised beds, six of which are productive. Felix and Ellie are growing lettuce ( red and green for their rabbits and Fred the Giant African Tree snail). Potatoes and red onions for Sonia and Ollie. But we have a glut of courgettes. Don't get me wrong I love courgettes. Courgettes fried in garlic and butter with a touch of seasoning is one of the best veggies going, but I am starting to feel like a courgette : long, green and I go droopy if I get too much sun. The rabbit issue I feel is waning. I am not going to say it has been accomplished but the little darlings are not evident.

Our menagerie has increased. St Front had a boot fair, not any old boot fair but a St Front boot fair, Mummy and Daddy met a man with some Parisienne poulet and now Nugget 'n Chips ( as Alaisdair called them ) or Rocket and Rosie as Felix calls them now reside in one of the out buidings. They are amazing birds; they eat anything. They love daddy pasta ( pasta with bacon and red onions fried and covered with one of their relatives). We have been reliably informed ( by the man who sold us them, 6E for the two if you're interested) they are good layers but so far we have only an empty wine crate and no oeufs to go with our courgettes.

Wild life has been pretty full on as one might say. One night I am awakened by Ellie screaming. Daddy gets up ( our sensorilly deprived mummy with ear plugs and blindfold who could sleep through a nuclear holocaust lies gestating). Ellie complains there is a stag beetle in her bed. daddy looks and fails to locate said item. Reassures enfant and returns to bed. 2 minutes later and Ellie reiterates her disquiet. This time daddy finds shiny armour plated source of terror and ejects it through window which is duly closed. Ellie doesn't sleep with her windows open now. Talking of windows, there we were, watching I am afraid to say BB, when another one decides to grace us with its presence. Sonia resmbles a whirling dervish who is incontinent of speach. I turn of the TV and turn of the lights and it flies of in to the night. Just reribution for watching BB n''est pas. Not only do stag beetles pop in to see us when watching telly but one night a bat flew in via the window in the downstairs bog. Despite opening all the windows the stupid creature would not leave. I found myself leaping about to encourage it to depart but only once the adverts came on did it go.Then if that was not enough there I am emptying the skimmers in the pool and I find what I assume is a dead rhino beetle ( see photo). I give it to Felix who then loses it. But he didn't. It managed to ressucitate itself and fall down stairs almost landing on the pregnant one. Felix wants to keep it but good sense prevails. Then there have been the shrews ( Felix wanted to keep them too). The first one was returned to the garden when it was found out they have a poisonous bite and eat 50 times there body weight per day stink like rotting garlic and squeal like bats ( not an attractive resume). We find a lot in the skimmers. They get in OK but can't get out. The one which made the biggest impression was the dead one in the bottom of the pool found by a vegetarian guest when she went for a dip. She was not 'appy. Skimmers are death traps but not all the time ( see rhino). One morning I am greeted by a chubby toad, but unfortunately he gets sucked down the skimmer to the pump. but luckily for him there is another filter just before the pump and it lives to croak another tale.

My wife has rediscovered E-bay. No longer countess crockery but persian textiles from some one called god almighty. This is not good. I fear we will end up with more saddle bags and killim runners than Ali baba but atleast they are cheap. And we will have a 18th century french persian manor house with plenty of places to store the salt.

The Gite is fully booked through to the end of september and we even have our first rebook so that is encouraging. You do get interesting folk. Especially the three ladies who returned for a friends reunited reunion of the Mussidan Ladies College. And they were ladies.

Enough already.

Bye for now

Tonyxx

Chapter 7 (Rabbits and Other Obsessions)

Dear All, It has been the best part of 4 months since the last one so apologies.

For some there will be an element of repetition and thus a bit tedious.

So what has been 'appening in France?

On our return from old blighty in Feb we were un peu knackered, so the best thing to do is to get a mate round and rupture your mains water supply to the gite, discover the previous owners have holed your grease tank and that you have a previously unknown septic tank for your sewage (gite only fortunately). Thus a once outwardly presentable property was instantly converted to something resembling the Somme . However alittle 'ard graft and 11 tonnes of gravel and a little frou frou and voila.(see picture N0.3)

Have had 2 weeks of paying guests already and 10 or so in the summer to come already. This gite business is also great for the kids as it provides them with fresh english victims with whom they can 'play'.
Strangely though they seem to like them and the last set of inmates actually said they had had the best ever holiday ( she was however only 9 and came from somewhere in Yorkshire).

Have taken on cooking for them as well. I do the old chicken pasanda with dal, fennel peas and pops routine, but it seems to go down ok. as a result we may hold a Indain Night at La Feuillade.

Son reckons I am becoming a little overly focussed on our rabbit issue. But having spent considerable time and effort constructing the lapin equivalent of fort Knox to keep the blighters out, not surprisingly I am a little peeved to discover the W****ers still reside within our potager. Our new fruit orchard ( sounds well grand) has the benefit of human hair (bunnies don't like it and Brigette's daughter who works down the coiffure shop in Mussidan gets it free, I am not sure the bunnies go for blue rinse but buggers can't be choissers). Consequently we have invested in an air rifle. However for this to be effective you have to be able to shoot ( fundamental oversight on my part) and as a result I have only bagged the one so far. Did this with me mate from Sourzac and duly skinned it gutted it and quartered it ( reminded me of my anatomy classes when I was alittle younger than I am now) and popped it in a polstyrene container to fool his missus we got it down the supermarche. However I reckon they are doomed as they have comitted social death : they ate Son's potatoes and red onions ( red baron if you are interested from Woolworths 2 for 1).

We are slowly constructing the children ( all shapes and sizes) a tree house between two huge Oaks ( one of them you can't even circle if you hold hands with two other people), currently the base is 240 x 300 cm and amazingly sturdy. It had 280 screws in it so far and more to come. However this platform is an excellent place to practice with your new weapon. Unfortunatley I have been totally emasculated as Sonia can hit the target and I am very good at missing it.

Les Enfants : Felix is turning in to a winner. First off they had a morning doing a 1 km crosscountry run in the forest. ( wait at school for a coach which eventually arrived 45 mins late. Chauffeur in his slippers them demonstrated the amazing road holding skills of his mature coach as he tears round the lanes to Beaupoyet, the kids squealling with every bend, he was duly reported by madame directrice to his boss). Felix came in first in his class and Ellie looked very lovely in her home made name badge. ( see pictures). After race you stand around eating gateau and orange squash whilst you wait for psycho to return you to school. Health and safety : I laugh in your face.

Then as if that was not enough we had the priveldge of being part of one of the social highlights of St Front. Mega Lotto in the Salle de Gerbeau. Friday morning down the Salle with Les Girlies, Lauren and Gerard. 450 chairs later and tables to go with. That night with some of Mussidan's finest and oldest we spend the best part of three hours listening to Lionel ( Boulanger during the day and massively overweight number caller at night) pronounce on our numerical destiny. And as if by magic Felix wins the first game. Unfortunately so did some one else : so it's lucky dip face off. Felix goes first and pulls out a vingt six. The air is thick with anticpation as half a mouton is at stake. The opposition has a quatre-vingt un. Felix gets a consolation prize ( a bottle of blende whisky : scotch, american and european whiskies!!!). Can it get any more exciting than this. NO. We spent the rest of the night eating crepes and loosing.

The pool is almost done. Last night Son, Felix and Ellie actually got in it for the first time. I didn't feel I could tell them there was no liner or water in it for that matter but they seemed happy enough. However our man Bruno says there will be water in it by next week.

May have cracked our water supply issue. As you may know one of the attractions of this place are the two wells where you can stash your children if they are naughty. But also they have water in them. Down the boot fair and after a little bartering and checking out it's motor I become the proud new owner of a second or third hand surface mounted 1000w pump. It pulls to a depth of 7ms and sprays with gay abandon over our raised beds ( now circled with chicken wire to keep my mates the bunnies out), until it has sucked to its max depth). Wait a day and off you go again.

Down by the river the grass is 2 feet high or so : thus me and my mower are impotent. After much humming and ha-ing I have become the proud owner of a 18cheval power John Deere ride on mini tracter with 122 cm cutting blade. This is very exciting. And all the family have many hours of shared enjoyment as the previously lush herb falls to the lames(blades) of our Tondeuse autoportee. It is very sexy.

Lastly for those who do not know Son is doing a little propogation of her own and is currently 16 weeks with an Ollie in side her. Thus due mid Oct. We had so much to do we thought an extra pair of hands would be good

Must go and try and continue sorting out our patio ( see picture of my Croation cement mixer and brieze block wall in constuction : it will be rendered to match existing walls and have the obligatory blue gates and very chic washing line ; actually it is a bunny fence : 80cm above ground so they can't polevault in and 40 cm below ground so they can't penetrate from below, I just hope the french lapins read RHS guidelines on rabbit proofing one's garden)

Take care

Love Tony x

Chapter 6 (Self Catering Accommodation)

Just to let everyone know that we've finished the gite, and are taking bookings!!!

Chapter 5 ( Miracle in France!)

A "miracle" has happened here in France.....
We were at the Saturday market yesterday in Mussidan and went to the Outillage ( HGV which travels from town to town selling DIY stuff, kind of like B+Q on wheels) .
They had some xmas stuff for sale and there was a poster for these Christmas teddies for sale at E29.99. On further inspection they looked rather familiar so we ordered one.......
For the bargain price of just 5 Euros one little 6 year old girl is now the proud owner of a shiny, new and VERY red, RED TED!!!!!!!!
Anyone who knows us well will appreciate the enormity of this event, and now the aforementioned 6 year old thinks that living in France is suddenly FANTASTIC! Hurrah, hurrah!
Even better, the parents of this enfant terrible have hatched a cunning plan that the child must "earn" this new Ted by being good.... Now we have an ANGEL!!!!! Now that truly is a MIRACLE!
xxxx

Chapter 4 ( New Year 2006)

Dear All haven't done one for a while, been somewhat preoccupied but will attempt to provide relavent update. Some of you will know some of this news and maybe even had a piccie but tough you shouldn't have visited or gotten a personalised one.

Back in December Ellie had to provide the good people of Mussidan an exhibition of her Folkloric dancing. Cue the Salle De Gerbeau (massive modern gym like warehouse place), Saturday night. Place packed. They have nothing else they would rather do? Ellie and 5 of her 'little house on the prairie' dressed friends take centre stage and produce an incredible display which sends the place rocking (there maybe a little poetic licence there) as they step and trip and circle to the sound of two accordions. Could it get any better? Of course. Who should appear in his traditional french costume? None other than Kevin (just so french). Poor bugger doesn't know what hit him. One minute he's having a nice time and the next he has Ellie running after him asking him for a kiss. And then to cap it all he and his older mates have to join the little ones to do a combined display which involves sustained holding of hands. Ellie appreciates we have the camcorder and afterwards comes over to ensure we got it all on video.Available at a small fee.

Our first attempt to earn some cash was an almost unmitigated disaster. Xmas market. Sunday morning in Aubeterre (Surrey in France). Up early. Children harvested a bucket of Kiwis in the dark. Set off in minus 60 degrees celsius. Testicles were lost after half an hour. Sold very little except my Vin Chaud which I must say was rather tasty. Kids sold 2 Euros of Kiwis. Returned home feeling rather glum. They have no taste.

Decorating before Xmas. It's a girl thing. Must look nice for the inlaws. No yellow gingam allowed. So rip all of it off and then some of the hessian and battons underneath to reveal a plasterers nightmare. Concrete and plaster which free falls of the walls. Too much pour moi. Call for Serge the pasterer. Contray to popular myth he arrived to quote when he said he would. He came and did the job over the two days exactly on time AND he did it well!!!! I had a happy wife (well almost).

Xmas : Mum and Dad arrived eventually from Bristol. Too much fog at Bergerac so they visited Bordeaux and then got a coach up. All at no extra cost.Their arrival was greated with glee especially as they had a suitcase of pressies for littleys. A week of the obligatory too much food, sausage roll making, musical christmas crackers (don't ask) and an attempt at Disney monoploy. Cinderella costs 180 Euros. Quite cheap if you ask me.Dad and I continued my vigil against the accursed ivy which strangles my trees. We all visited Sharon and Anthony ( friends in Sourzac) who at last have an inhabitable space and had to drink cognac at 11.00am.Fortunately the fog had lifted enough so they could return to blighty from Bergerac.We forgot to go to the local Lotto. Social suicide.

The Brodies arrived the day after. They had driven. They were tired and a little frazzled at the edges. But were we glad to see them or rather the contents of their car? Poor old Roge and Karen had been our postal address in the UK for all our e-bay winnings and 200 meters of mypex weed suppressant fabric. Stick that in your boot and smoke it: But it was great to see them; This bloody co,puter keeps going French on itùs ozn qnd the letters get qll ,ixed up: I zill try to type properly: We had magical frosts where the trees shimmered as if dusted in icing sugar or even fairy dust: We feasted on freshly murdered crab which was absolutely delicious even batman thought so; They left us; all alone and sad but decidedly fatter,

Since Son and I have done our dining room; no more fabric on our walls thankyou; just off white distemper paint from Farrow and Ball which she cant change her mind about as it is so expensive: The dresser is decked in green glass and ze could almost be back in Wallington or even Streatham: As we now have a place to sit in nice surroundings ze decided to have the Fritchleys for lunch: Roy Karen Evelyn and Lily: I cooked Indian: Fresh coriander is prohibitively expensive but essential; As usual cooked far too much and have been having dhal and chicken pasanda for breakfast lunch and tea: At least I am regular:

Last Sunday ze zent to the cinema to see one of the most culturally relevant films of the century; Wallace and Grommit and the Curse of the Were Rabbit in down town Mussidan: An elegantly renovated church which was fab: In English with French subtitles incroiable: It brought in all the Inglish; average age 79; But we felt a certain resonance as our bunny problem persists: Fecking rabbits everywhere: More rabbits than you could shake a cassoulet pan at: They must be catholic as plainly contraception is not a considered option when it comes to bunny family planning: Bastards:And I bet most of them are:


That will do for now:

A Bientot Love Tone xx